You Found Me
by ggirl1710
Summary: *Based on the 2011 movie 50/50* Nicky has cancer and his girlfriend leaves him. Rod is a therapist-in-training and his boyfriend cheats on him. When they meet, an odd, yet awe-inspiring, friendship blooms. But through the battles of illness and heartfelt awareness, the two feel that there's something more to them than just a Doctor-Patient relationship. *Rod/Nicky*
1. Chapter One

**A/N: This is my first Avenue Q story, even though I've never seen the show in person. If you are a Avenue Q fan then I apologize if anything seems out of character for Rod and Nicky, meaning that Rod isn't an Investment Banker and is a therapist-in-training and Nicky has cancer and Rod had a boyfriend already, so just go along with it for this story.**

**This fiction is based on the 2011 movie 50/50.**

(Avenue Q - RodxNicky)

**Chapter One**

Great, just great, Nicky groaned to himself. Not only does he have schwannoma neurofibrosarcoma (a malignant tumor that he can't even pronounce on his own), his own girlfriend (well, ex-girlfriend now) has just left him, saying that she "couldn't handle it", which to Nicky meant _Eww! You got cancer?! I'm leaving your ass, you loser!_ "I must be your favorite angel, God.", he sarcastically said.

The green faced man launched himself onto his bed, his stomach on the messy sheets. He hardly ever made his bed or even cleaned his whole apartment really. Nicolas Lyon* wasn't one to cry a lot, but this one night was an exemption. "Fuck that bitch!", he screamed into his pillow. "How could she do this to me?! How can someone that I ever loved leave me for being sick with cancer?!"

He didn't have anyone else in town that could help him through this stressful time. His dad died from a fatal motorcycle accident when Nicky was a small boy and his mother lived thousands of miles away. Nicky didn't dare to call her up once he was diagnosed today. Nicky would remember staying up at night listening to her sob as she'd lay in their bed with her husband's clothes clenched in her shaking hands.

It pained Nicky to be a 10 year-old and know that his old man won't come home from work and walk through their front door or take him to school or show him how to pitch a baseball perfectly or do anything for Nicolas and his mother. It pained Nicky even see his poor mommy cry day and night.

_Mommy, where's daddy? Isn't he going to take me to school like he always does?_

_No, Nicolas, sweetie...not today...not ever again..._

From then on, Nicky was the only man in his mom's life, but when Nicky became a young adult they both knew that the bird had to leave the nest. Nicky leaving home to go live miles away from her for college made her worried, and telling her that her only son and child has cancer all of a sudden would probably put her on medication for the rest of her life.

She even gets paranoid if Nicky doesn't call her everyday.

His doctor, however, insisted that he should seek a therapist for comfort, and his first appointment would be next Thursday. He knew he had to talk about the break-up and the Daddy-Dying-When-I-Was-A-Boy story, and it bothered Nicky.

On the other hand, it really couldn't have come at a better time.

* * *

Flower vases were thrown and shattered against the walls and hardwood floor. "You son of a bitch!", a blue faced man wailed. "You promised me that you'd never cheat on me!" He was shouting at the top of his lungs at another man that looked about 29, who had his hands in front of him to block the flying silverware.

"Rodney, please.", the other softly said. "I'm so so-"

"I don't want to hear it, David!", Rod cut him off. "You're not sorry! If you were sorry you'd think twice about having sex with someone else! You wouldn't even pick me up from work in time because you're out with another man and then you'd lie to me about it!" The tears were really coming down hard now and even through Rod's glasses he couldn't see because they were fogged up. Rod was so enraged he said whatever come into his mind. "I'm tired of your bullshit and your fucking lies! How can you do this to me?!"

"Rod.", David began. "You don't know how hard it's been. I try to tolerate with your nagging for the whole house to be clean and neat, but I just can't marry anyone that's this uptight. I have a say in everything else too." It hurt him to say that to anyone as sensitive as Rod, but David just couldn't imagine married life with the nagging every single day. It finally dawned on the red individual.

Rod glared at him and then took off his engagement band ring from David. "Well, don't worry. You don't have to deal with my nagging anymore, because I'm done with you." The afflicted man threw the golden ring at his ex-fiancé then pointed to the hallway that lead to what use to be the two's bedroom. "Get all of your possessions and get the fuck out of my house."

David didn't say a word. He didn't even move. This made Rod more infuriated. "Get your stuff and get out now!"

Finally David moved. He wanted to hold Rod as he passed by the red head, but Rod's eyes meant buisness, so he just did what he was told.

It took the unfaithful cheater about fifty-minutes to get everything inside boxes and inside his Porshe. It would've taken David less time if Rod helped, but he knew that he made his point across by not. Rod's really cracked now. David looked up at Rod, who was sitting on the porch's steps, surprisingly having a glass cup of red wine in his hand and a lit cigarette in the other.

He really broke him, David thought. Rod's a smart guy who's never drank alcohol and never touched a cigarette in his life. Seeing his ex like this made David's heart sink. "G-goodbye. I...love you.", he called out.

Rod only nodded at the Goodbye part, but rolled his eyes at the Love You part, and put the cigarette to his lips again. David understood and sighed, then got into the drivers seat. The black Porshe started and the car drove out of Rod's freeway.

Thank God that was the last time Rod ever saw David.

* * *

Of course Nicky's mother flipped out when he finally worked up the nerve to tell her about the tumor. It killed him to hear her sob and say _I love you_ and _My baby_ plenty of times. Nicky kept assuring her that he'll be fine, but he was totally uncertain if that'll be true, which made Nicky nervous to go see his therapist for the first time. He was pretty sure that whoever this oldtimer was is gonna tell him to accept that he'll go like this, this stupid cancer.

Atleast, he imagined the doctor to be an oldtimer.

Nicky finally found the correct door with a sign that had bold white letters that read _Rodney J. Tartaglia**_ with _Therapist-In-Training _under the name. Whoopie. Nicky was hesitant to knock until a staff member spoke to him.

"Go on ahead.", the woman told him. "He's probably drinking and smoking his sorrows away again." She whispered as she said this then walked off.

Nicky took a deep breath and knocked, waiting for an answer.

"Client or staff?", a voice that sounded nasally called from the other side of the door.

"U-um...client.", Nicky nervously said.

There was a short bit of silence before a "Come on in" came. Nicky turned the knob and entered the small room, seeing a suprisingly young male sitting on a computer chair next to an open window with a wine glass in his hand. His hair was orange-red like his eyebrows and it was nicely combed and jelled. His skin was sky blue and he wore what looked like an expensive suit with matching pants.

He moved his chair to a coffee table and set down his glass, then took off his glasses to rub the bridge of his light green nose, placing them back on. He got up to shake Nicky's hand.

"I'm Nicolas.", Nicky greeted, still feeling nervous.

The other raised an eyebrow. "Wait, you mean you're Nicolas Lyon, the one diagnosed with cancer?"

"Uh yeah." Nicky tried not to feel irritated at the _one diagnosed with cancer _label.

"I..I thought I would be seeing you on Thurdsay, the fifth."

"It is Thursday.", Nicky awkwardly assured.

The young therapist looked at the calendar on the wall and nervously laughed. "S-so it is. Ok well, Nicolas, go ahead and sit on the...the couch there and, um, we'll get started.", the sky blue man insisted.

Nicky sat down and the other returned to his chair, taking his wine glass and taking a large gulp of the red liquid and set down an empty wine glass on the table. "So, Nicolas, I think you can pretty much figure that I'm Rod Tartaglia, and I'll be your therapist while you battle..." Rod took his notepad and flipped to his notes and continued, "schwannoma neurofibrosarcoma."

Rod took his eyes off of the paper to look at Nicky. "First, let me say that I'm very sorry that someone as young as you is battling this rare cancer, Mr. Lyon."

"Uh..sure thing." Nicky stared at the therapist in awe, and it made Rod both blush and feel awkward.

"I-is there s-something wrong?", Rod nervously stuttered.

Nicky realized that he was making the other uncomfortable and apologized. "I-I'm sorry, dude. Nothing's wrong. It's just that..." Nicky bit his lower lip. 'If you don't mind, how old are you?"

Rod raised his eyebrows. "W-what makes you ask that?"

"I don't know.", Nicky said, shrugging. "It's just that you look really young to be a doctor of some sort." Nicky rubbed the back of his neck. "You know what, you don't have to answer that question. Sorry."

"No need to apologize.", Rod replied, pushing up his glasses. "The number's 27, and technically I'm not a doctor _yet_. I'm working on my degree here. T-this part of the building is for trainees."

"27? Wow! That's really young."

"Just like it's very young to have cancer.", Rod answered. He looked at his wrist watch and made a popping sound with his lips, then reached into his suit's pocket, pulling out a box of cigarettes and a lighter. Rod was about to put the butt of the skinny white-orange object to his lips and light the tip when he glanced at Nicky, who was glaring at him with an eyebrow raised.

"You do know that I..."

"Yes yes!", Rod exclaimed, turning off the lighter and putting away the hazardous objects, becoming embarrassed of himself. "You'll have to pardon me, Mr. Lyon.", Rod apologized. "It's just that...well...I-I shouldn't say."

"Nah. Go ahead.", Nicky assured. "Ain't this therapy afterall? I thought you weren't suppose to hide anything." Nicky smirked. Rod rolled his eyes.

"I understand that. But it's personal and I don't think it's appropriate for _me_ to tell _you_ what I'm going through."

"I won't judge." Nicky grinned. "Let it all out."

Rod shook his head slightly, but couldn't fight a crooked smile from forming on his lips. "If you say so, Nicolas."

"I'm fine with Nicky."

Rod sighed heavily. "Fine, _Nicky_. You see, my boyfriend cheated on me and I broke off our engagement last week. I kicked him out and that's, and I say this with great regret, when I started to drink and smoke."

"No way!", Nicky gasped.

"Yes. Your new therapist is a fucking homosexual. I told you it was personal and inappropriate, Nicky.", Rod sighed.

"No no! That's ok with me!", Nicky said. "I was talking about you getting cheated on. That must've really cut you deep, man."

Rod blinked his eyes then cleared his throat. "O-oh yes. It very much did."

"I had a breakup last week too."

Rod widened his eyes. "R-really?"

"Yup. I got cancer and my girlfriend leaves me. It sucks to be me." Nicky lay back in the soft couch and sighed. Rod felt sympathy for the green client as he stared at the melancholy expression on his stubby face. _God, he looks like he's in dire need of a shave for that 5 o'clock shadow_, Rod thought._ He doesn't look like he takes care of himself._

However, his heart sank for him and his troubles. "I'm so sorry, Nicky.", the blue psychologist softy said.

"Don't be, uh, Rod? Can I call you that?"

Rod didn't hesitate, and nodded. "I think that seems as equal to call you Nicky instead of Nicolas. Rodney sounds worn out and babyish anyways." Rod grinned. "I did introduce myself as Rod didn't I?"

"That's true.", Nicky proclaimed.

"Why don't you want me to be sorry for you?", Rod asked. "You have what I was assured a rare cancer at the age of 26 and your, pardon me, stupid girlfriend leaves you. If I were you, I'd want as much people to be sympathetic."

"Yeah. Well, that's you.", Nicky said. "I have two problems with me right now and that's 1. A disease I can't even freaking say, and 2. The only woman besides my own mom gives me a big _Sucks To Be You_ by leaving me. The only thing that's happened to you is that your fiancé cheated on you."

Rod didn't say anything. Nicky groaned and apologized. "Rod, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say that." Nicky raked his messy dark brown hair in regret.

"It's...ok, Nicky.", Rod said, trying not to sound hurt by the remark. "It's good to feel angery. Part of dealing with cancer is that emotions demand to be felt. That's what this whole thing is about; letting out your emotions."

"I guess so."

Rod then clicked his pen and put the tip to his notepad. "Wanna talk about it to start this first session off, forgetting the sucky introduction?"

Nicky knew this would happen, but...he didn't feel bothered by it anymore. This Rod guy seems legit, plus Nicky knew it would be healthy to get it off his chest. "Sure. Couldn't hurt to blow off some steam."

Nicky smiled. Rod smiled, writing down _Session #1 - 9/5 (Nicky)_ on the lined paper. "Tell me what you're feeling."

* * *

***Nicky's last name is based on his original Broadway actor Rick Lyon.**

****The J in Rod's middle name and last name is based on his original Broadway actor John Tartaglia. **


	2. Chapter Two

**(Avenue Q - RodxNicky)**

**Chapter Two**

The therapy sessions weren't really half bad. It only took a few first appointments to make Nicky start liking therapists, even though Rod was still a beginner at this and would often get embarrassed by every little wrong thing he said or did on accident, but none the less, Rod seemed like a cool guy.

However, Nicky felt a little bit uncomfortable with how frequent Rod drank and he's pretty sure he lights a cigarette once Nicky leaves his office. He understood that the both of them has had a really bad break-up, but Nicky found that he was already over his ex-girlfriend.

Rod, on the other hand, still looked like he was suffering from his break-up, and it's been almost five weeks since their own splits.

It actually made Nicky feel sorry for the guy, which was weird considering that this is his therapist that he's sorry for.

Nicky had already started the chemotherapy and, as much as he liked tripping out from macaroons made with weed in them, the treatment was actually really arduous. Nicky would wake up in the middle of the warm night, feeling the need to vomit, and that's exactly what he'd do. He understood that the treatment was too fight off the illness, but no one told him that it would make him sick in his stomach.

Another thing that he hated about this bittersweet treatment was that it was already killing the cells that produce the hair on his whole body and head, so without putting much thought into it, Nicky stood in front of the bathroom mirror and turned on the electric shaver.

Funny how someone feels nothing inside when they actually lose their own coiffure for a long time.

* * *

"So how are you doing with the chemotherapy so far?", Rod professionally asked Nicky on their next session.

Nicky lay on the couch, facing up at the ceiling, wearing his hood up to cover his bald green head. "Oh it's great! It's grand. I love praying to the Porcelin God because the good medicine is fighting my bad bad cancer and losing my hair gives me the privilege to wear my hood up to cover my beautiful bald head. Hooray for fucking cancer!"

"Well I'm sensing some deep sarcasm and anger so that's good.", Rod replied, writing in the notepad.

Nicky turned his head to the trainee. "Why is that good? I'm pissed and that's a good thing?"

"I told you on the first meeting; it's good to feel anger. Letting out your real emotions is a great way to get them out in the open, Nicky. If you say how you feel, you don't feel the need to keep it a secret."

Nicky lipsmacked and nodded. "Oh yeah, when we first met each other you told me that."

When we first met each other. Those innocent words made Rod quiet. That's what happy couples say. Nicky's his third patient really, but Rod's first two clients both dealt with sudden deaths of their loved ones. Rod would hear them say through cries how much they were in love and even then Rod had his suspicions about his ex-fiancé's strange behavior.

Rod felt that he should hate those damned words, and even hate Nicky for saying those words because they would've brought angst, but Rod didn't do neither of them, because he couldn't feel the need to hate Nicky or those words.

"I told you that because it's true, Nicky. It helps.", Rod said finally.

"Have you ever had to hide what you feel, that you know so much about it?", Nicky asked, hoping that Rod's experience could help him see the point. "Like, have you ever had to keep your secrets and feelings bottled up?"

Rod almost had a heart attack when Nicky asked that, his heart sinking. "Y-you want _me_ to tell you if I've ever done that?"

"Yeah, if it helps."

"You want me to be honest?"

"Uh...yeah."

Rod felt challenged, but he had to take it. Rod never liked to reflect back on the most heart-aching times in his life. In fact, he was scared to look back. Rod clicked his pen for the tip to close and sighed.

_Get comfortable Nicky. This may take a while._

* * *

Rod explained to Nicky his experience of keeping safe "in the closet", and how it's also his biggest fear to get stabbed in the back emotionally when he was scared to admit that he was gay and how it's a terrible feeling to hide from those he loves.

He told him of why he had dug so deep about being a closeted homosexual. One involved getting kicked on the side, pushed down to the ground, tossed inside lockers, punched in the face, and be called "faggot" constantly during high school. His mom would worry about him and try to get him out of that hell-hole to be safe, but his dad would have the nerve to say "It'll pass, Rodney."

Two, the worst kind, dealed with the fact that Rod was afraid of being rejected because of his true sexuality and feelings by everyone he ever loved. His own parents didn't know that he was gay, so when they asked why he was frequently being called a faggot, Rod just shrugged.

However, Rod found hiding emotionally from everyone was more hurtful than the blows he'd take, and if society was to stab him in the back and get left alone then Rod knew he couldn't show his face anymore. Hearing the word _Faggot_ and _Queer_ get used a lot around him in a way to insult homosexuals everywhere made him petrified of coming out.

When he found David, he wanted to say that he was glad because he was beginning to be in a relationship with someone of the same sex, but Rod still felt the fear of rejection be with him.

Sure enough, Rod's fear was confirmed by being cheated on.

* * *

"Wow.", Nicky softly said. "I'm sorry you had to be that closeted, Rod. That fear seems reasonable."

"Needless to say, Nicky, hiding what you feel is actually more to reckon with.", Rod said.

"Are you still scared of that?"

"I most certainly do, most of the time because of my ex."

Nicky rolled his eyes. "Exes.", he groaned, sticking out his tongue at the word. "I'm glad that I'm over mine, but you're still talking about yours. What's so special about that prick that you keep on talking about him?"

Rod sighed sadly. "I guess I still love him, and I hate that."

Nicky shook his head. "How can you say that you still _love_ him, Rod? He wasn't loyal to you! You two were engaged and then he goes out with someone else and lies to you!"

"I told you that I hate it anyways, Nicky.", Rod defended. "You don't think I'm very angered that he did this to me? I hate his fucking guts! Every time I think about him I wanna chug down a whole wine bottle and light a cigarette."

Rod took off his glasses then rubbed the bridge of his nose, feeling the afflicted tears run down his cheeks, sniffling. "I-I'm sorry..."

Nicky watched as the therapist cried, feeling guilty that he accused Rod of still caring about his ex. The green patient hated to see him in pain this much over a two-timing bastard. Nicky bit his lip anxiously and moved a steady hand to Rod's shoulder. "Hey, it's ok. It's alright."

Rod stopped sniffling and looked at Nicky, then his hand, then back to Nicky.

Nicky felt awkward and embarrassed, and drew back his hand back. "I'm sorry, Rod."

"I-it's alright, Nicky.", Rod said, putting back his glasses. "You're just being a...good person."

Before they both knew it, their hour was up. Nicky smiled and without admission, got up and walked to the door. "I think _friend_ is a better word.", he said, then left.

Rod blinked his eyes and then smiled. "You're right."


	3. Chapter Three

_Avenue Q  
(RodxNicky)_

Rod sat on the cold bench reading one of his favorite novels while waiting for the public bus to arrive, which seemed like was taking forever to get here. His ex would be the one to pick him up from work since he had a car, but that was over now, so Rod had to consider public transportation.

Rod didn't like the idea of driving. He knew it was one of the main causes of death...besides cancer.

The blue therapist-in-training was just about to give up and walk on home when a familiar, and surprisingly delectable, voice called out to him.

"Rod?"

Rod turned to the side and felt his heart skip a beat when he saw Nicky standing feet away from him, hands in his brown New York hoodie's front pocket, still wearing the hood up. He actually seemed happy to see Rod, as Rod felt to him suddenly.

"Nicky!", Rod declared, his voice coming out louder than intended. "Hello there."

"Hey!" Nicky walked towards the other and bent down, greeting Rod with a rather bear hug, which made Rod feel awkward. Nicky crushed his shoulders and Rod couldn't help but blush. He didn't really liked to be hugged that much, especially this way.

_This feels so wrong_, Rod thought.

Then Rod noticed a smell coming from the schwannoma patient. He smelled...so good...so delicious...

"N-nice cologne y-you're wearing.", Rod stuttered.

"Same for you, ruity fruity.", Nicky joked as he smelled in Rod's strawberry scented shampoo.

Nicky finally backed off and pat Rod's shoulder rather forcefully. "So you take the bus, huh?"

"Well, yes I use to be dropped off and picked up by...well..."

"Your ex.", Nicky finished.

Rod rolled his eyes and sighed. "Do I really make it that obvious?"

"Pretty much.", Nicky laughed. "Anyways, you want a lift home?"

Rod felt his heart dropped and a lump be in his throat. "You mean you're offering to...to drive me home?"

"Why not? Buses suck. Whataya say?"

Rod wanted to full-out refuse, but Nicky was being so generous. "I don't know. I-I live far away from here. I just keep waiting with my book here."

Nicky grinned a looney smirk. "I won't take No for an answer.", he said in a sort of sing-song voice. "Come on. We're friends now, right?"

Rod didn't like to befriend his clients, and knows that he's not suppose to, but Nicky did comfort him when he cried during their last appointment days ago. He really did seem like a great friend.

_Maybe it wouldn't be too bad to get a ride._

* * *

Rod wished that he had refused the offer. Nicky's SUV was filled with candy wrappers and potato chip bags and beer bottles and fast food bags here and there. "Sorry about the mess here, buddy.", Nicky said. "I ain't good at keeping things clean."

_You don't say_, Rod thought, but really said, "It's fine, Nicky."

"So you don't have a car?", Nicky asked.

"That's not the case. I really don't have a license."

"No? Why not?"

"Because cars are one of the five main causes of deaths, along with...well..."

"With cancer, huh?", Nicky chuckled.

Rod cleared his throat. "Well I didn't want to say it since it seems uncalled for and inappropriate in this case."

"Whoopie.", Nicky laughed.

"And it's not only cars. Bikes and motorcycles do the same as car deaths."

"Oh yeah. I can defiantly get the motorcycle part." Nicky's voice was actually stern this time, and he gripped the steering wheel, preparing to head back to his childhood.

"What's wrong, Nicky?", Rod asked concerned.

"Oh nothing. I'm just taking the time to express my hate of motorcycles.", Nicky said.

"You seem like you really hate motorcycles. How come?"

"My dad died from a motorcycle-car accident when I was ten years old.", Nicky confessed. "He was riding when a car suddenly hit him, making him...fall off and land hard on the street." Nicky tried to hold back tears as he described the incident that happened years ago. "He was taking longer to come back home than my mom and I expected."

Rod stared at him in disbelief and shock. "Nicky. I-I'm sorry."

"Don't be. It ain't your fault I went on growing up without having a dad to be there for me anymore, leaving me alone to hear my mom cry everyday and night." Nicky's voice became cracked and tears were getting ready to fall.

"Nicky, really. I'm sorry that you had that happen to you so young."

"Yeah well...there's nothing much to do about it.", Nicky said.

"How about your mom? Is she still existing?", Rod asked, careful about what he's saying.

"Oh yeah. She's still alive. But she lives hours away ans flying scares her, you know, 'cause of 9/11 and all, especially since this is New York so...yeah."

"So you just call her or something?"

"She calls me, three times a day! She gets scared if she doesn't hear from me so she's calls me a lot now, especially now that I'm sick. When my dad passed, I was all that she had since I look a lot like him, so needless to say, she smothered me a whole lot." Nicky's voice had a irritated tone in it as he said that last remark, which made Rod really confused.

"Does that bother you?", he asked. "I mean, she's just showing that she loves you, and just wants you to be ok. Sounds to me like you're her only child."

"I know that she cares about her only son or child, but I'm just saying that my mom gets a bit over protective and it's annoying."

Once Nicky got to a stop light he put his palms to his green face then dragged them down as if he was more in distress then stress. "I mean I love my mom, but sometimes I wish my dad was still around. You know, for the both of us." The grieving tone was still in his voice, and as Rod returned to feeling pitiful for him, he noticed how rueful his brown eyes were. They were like chocolate rubies, so big and beautiful.

_For being so melancholy, he's got really beautiful eyes,_ Rod thought. In fact, Rod glared at Nicky longer and saw that his whole appearance, even with a bald green dome under his brown New York hoodie and a 5 o'clock shadow, was breathtakingly radiant.

Rod then knew instantly that he was becoming attracted to Nicolas, which made the trainee nervous. He knew that becoming romantically interested with a client was a definite no-no, plus Rod didn't want to be romantically interested with anyone right now.

He was romantically interested before, and it ended with unfaithfulness, which made Rodney terrified to start all over again.

The quietness between Nicky and Rod felt eerie and awkward so Nicky turned on the radio, which didn't help Rod's internal dilemma anymore than increase it.

_I could lose my heart tonight  
If you don't turn and walk away  
'Cause the way I feel I might  
Lose control and let you stay  
'Cause I could take you in my arms  
And never let you go_

Rod sat there, in the passenger seat of Nicky's SUV with Nicky, just keeping quiet, trying to let his hormones get the best of him, but as the song played on, Rod kept blushing and blushing a darker red every time.

_I can only wonder how  
Touching you would make me feel  
But if I take that chance right now  
Tomorrow will you want me still?  
So I should keep this to myself  
And never let you know_

_Damn you and your angel-like voice and lyrics, Selena_, Rod thought. _No! Not damn you! You're a beautiful angel, sweetie! Oh..._ Rod felt his heart beat faster inside his chest, becoming anxious. He glanced at Nicky, who thankfully couldn't see the red head because of he was focusing on the road. The green one didn't look upset anymore. He looked calm, cooled down, so peaceful, so _beautiful..._

_And I know it's not right  
And I guess I should try  
To do what I should do  
But I could fall in love (fall in love)  
With you (baby)_

_I could fall in love with him...no! I can't! I won't go back down that road! I...I...oh why can't I just calm the fuck down?! He's just a friend, just a friend!_

Rod turned his eyes away from Nicky and fixed his attention on anything else to distract him, like this trash of McDonald's wrappers and chocolate wrappers, which made Rod feel even more uncomfortable and closed in.

"Stop the car. Pull over.", Rod said quietly at first.

"What?", Nicky asked dumbfounded.

"I said pull over! Pull over!", Rod yelped.

Nicky was confused by Rod's actions but he did what he was told and pulled up to an empty 7-Eleven parking lot with a WM dumpster nearby. Nicky unlocked the side door and Rod stepped our hastily, and without consent from Nicky picked up some of the trash from his seat. "I'm sorry Nicky, but I cannot stand this ridiculous garbage. They need to go." Rod shuffled his black shoes towards the garbage dump and threw the used paper bags of fast food wrappers away, sticking out his tongue in disgust.

Nicky, on the other hand, watched the therapist in awe. _He ain't even my own mother and he's complaining about my car's junk. _The cancer diagnosed male then glanced at the back of the SUV, seeing more junk than the front, and then thought for a moment, and then he unlocked the back doors too.

"So you're helping, huh?", Rod retorted. "You're not gonna whine or pout or say that I ain't your mother?"

"The thought did come across, but even I think the ole' girl needs a clean up.", Nicky said, grinning at Rod. "And at least you won't call me twice a day."

"I don't even have your number, Nicky.", Rod replied as the two went back and forth to the SUV and dump.

"Exactly.", Nicky said.

Rod couldn't help but grin at the other's personality, finding it funny how he made jokes here and there and how Nicky was so lay back. And then, Rod paused to look at Nicky's carefree expression, and how he'd make any weird event, like cleaning the car, seem like an honor to do with him around.

And then, Rod noticed that he was doing something that he hasn't done in a while. He was giggling, and then started laughing merrily.

"What's so funny?", Nicky questioned, beginning to grin back.

"That we're in an empty parking lot in front of a 7-Eleven, cleaning up your messy SUV, and actually having fun doing it.", Rod admitted.

"Well why not? It does seem weird to be doing this with a friend, but maybe normality isn't our thing."

Rod didn't hesitate and nodded. "I guess not."

"Plus, I like you enough to do almost any weird boring shit. Am I right?"

Rod felt his heart hammer like a jack rabbit's and flush red, but he kept it cool and said, "Yeah, right."

* * *

After their little activity with the mess in Nicky's car, both he and Rod went inside the 7-Eleven for some coffee and donuts, just laughing and having great conversations until they finally reached Rod's driveway.

"Well, there's my home.", Rod said, sighing rather depressively.

"Looks cozy.", Nicky said.

"Yes." Rod looked at Nicky, then Nicky looked at Rod. Both of their eyes had a look of sadness that the fun was over for the night.

"Well, good night, Nicky.", Rod said.

"Night." Nicky unlocked the side door for Rod, feeling sad really to see him go.

Rod was about to get out when he had a thought come across. _I really shouldn't_, he thought, _but..._

Rod then got out a pen and turned his back slightly to Nicky, writing something on a paper bag that use to have his donut, but was now empty and flat. Then Rod folded the paper and handed it to Nicky. "That's for emergencies and if you need someone to talk to when you feel down."

With that, Rod got out. "Keep this SUV clean or else I'll label you as a compulsive hoarder.", Rod playfully warned as he walked up the front steps.

"I'll think about it.", Nicky joked. He then looked at the paper Rod handed him and began to unfold. He then became wide eyed when he saw Rod's cell number written in. Nicky looked up at Rod's house, seeing Rod standing by the door, waving at him.

Nicky waved back, smiling happily as he did so.


	4. Chapter Four

(Avenue Q-RodxNicky)

**Chapter Four**

That same night that Nicky gave Rod a ride home, Rod had a dream sequence, one that seemed to be puzzling to the twenty-seven aged man.

* * *

_He was panting, moaning, begging, pleading...enjoying a wave of erotic pleasurable motions of thrusts coming from his phalluses area, sending shocks of lust all over his blue toned body._

_"Oh God...oh yes...fuck you're amazing! Uhh!"_

_Rod could feel himself biting his lower lip, throwing his head back on what felt like a pillow, moaning louder as he was in ecstasy, exclaiming about how fucking good this sex feels. "Oh! Oh yes! G-go harder! Harder!"_

_The blue complexed man could feel his trembling fingers clench a bed sheet as he felt close to ejaculation, continuing to pant hard._

_"Say my name, Rod.", a different voice demanded hoarsely. "Scream it. Scream it!"_

_Rod could feel his body shiver as he began to shoot his load freely, gasping, uttering an organism, sounding the name of the one who is with him._

_"Oh...oh Nicky! Nicky!"_

* * *

Rod shot his eyes open. He sat up in his bed, just staring into the warm darkness of his room, breathing heavily, but in a panic state this time, feeling cold sweat run down his scalp. He glanced at his digital clock beside him, 2:47 a.m.

"It c-can't be.", Rod stuttered to himself. "No. I...I..."

_I think I'm in love with Nicky._

Rod felt his heart beating like he's just ran a marathon, tears and emotions beginning to get the best of him, lips quivering.

_I'm in love with him. I'm in love with him!_

Rod then sobbed, putting his face to his hands. He didn't know wether to be delighted, or scared out of his wits. He didn't know how to feel, he kept getting mixed emotions.

* * *

Nicky's Monday started off with the patient expecting his doctors appointment to be swell, expecting great news about the shwannoma cancer. But by noon, as it turned out, it was bad.

"The cancer is not responding to the chemotherapy. The surgery of this nature is always very dangerous and potentially life threatening itself.", the M.D told Nicolas. "We need to remove the tumor now or we risk metastasis."

"O-okay, so what do we do now?", Nicky asked anxiously.

"We need to operate." The man behind the desk showed a straight face, but you could easily pick out the pity in his voice. "Now I've settled to get you in this Wednesday morning with Dr. Hemingway. She is our finest, and I do mean _finest_, neurosurgeon."

"But I'm going to be ok, right?", Nicky cut in. "Y-you're going to fix it." There was great angst in Nicky's voice and the green complexed patient was close to tears.

"Like I explained, the surgery in this case is dangerous. The surgeons will attempt to be very aggressive.

However, if we aren't successful in removing the cancer, then we'll be out of options."

_Out of options? Out of options?! That's it?! That's all that there fucking is?! _Nicky had lots of mixed emotions and thoughts run through him, and was getting closer and closer to tears. He didn't even give a "Okay" to the doctor. He just got up from his seat and traipsed out the room.

The elevator ride down to the main floor felt like ages now that Nicky was paranoid. The silence was killing, and the more Nicky thought about the words _out of options_, the more he wanted to breakdown.

The surgery was in two days, what was he to do in just two days? He knew he had to break the news to his mother when she calls again today, but he couldn't find a way to tell her.

Nicky was so much in distress that he was desperate to just talk about the panic state that he's in for some comfort. Then he realized there _is_ someone who will listen.

Once the elevator got to the main floor Nicky, instead of just walking, dashed to Rod's office in the training department. He suddenly felt excited now, but that excitement was drained down once he got to Rod's door and didn't hear Rod answer when Nicky knocked. "Rod? Buddy, it's Nicky. I really need to talk to you."

"He's off on Mondays.", a random staff member told him as he strolled by. "You can maybe catch him tomorrow."

_But I can't wait until tomorrow, dammit! I need to see him now!_

Nicky stormed off, away from the door and staff member and everybody and pushed the glass entrance door open. The frustrated man then slammed his SUV's door shut once he got inside and groaned loudly like a grizzly bear growling, throwing up his hands to his face and dragged them down. When he opened his eyes, however, he saw it.

He saw Rod's cell number on the still sticky paper bag from last night, remembering Rod's words. _That's for emergencies and if you need someone to talk to when you're feeling down._

With no hesitation, Nicky reached into his jeans and fished out his cell phone, dialing Rod's number. He then put the electronic device to his ear and waited, and waited, and waited.

"Come on you son of a bitch. Pick up the fucking phone!", Nicky whined.

"Hello?", a familiar nasally voiced replied on the other end of the line.

Nicky found himself smiling and sighing blissfully when he listened to that sweet, in his own opinion, voice. "Hey, it's Nicky.", he said.

On the other end, Rod was just sitting in his living room, enjoying the warm noon of his day-off by finishing up his favorite book with tea on the side, feeling so calm until Nicky called in. He had forgotten his wet dream from way early in the morning until now.

"Nicky?", Rod asked incrediously. "What's going on?"

"Oh, you know.", Nicky started off with saying, but didn't get anywhere else with the lame statement.

Rod narrowed his eyes. "No I don't know, Nicky. What do you need?", he asked concerned.

Nicky sighed. "Well, you gave me this number so I can call you anytime, right?"

"Yes. What about it?"

"Well, how about we hang out, maybe grab a bite to eat?", Nicky gaily asked. "Whataya say, pal?"

Rod felt a chill run down his back and his cheeks get warm and he raised his red brows. "Y-you want us to do something together?"

"Of course, dude. Mondays are your days off, right?"

"How'd you know that?", Rod asked puzzled.

"I went to your office to look for you but when you didn't answer I was told that Mondays are your free days.", Nicky said. "I had my doctors appointment today and I really need to talk to you about it."

"Well I did gave you this number so you can talk to me about how you're feeling, not so you can ask me to hang out with you." Rod wished he meant that because it was both professional and smart, but even the littlest bit of him craved to see him.

Nicky let out a chuckle. "Well I _am_ calling you, and I'm telling you that I'd feel grand if we hang out and have a great time, 'cause...well...you know..."

"Know _what_?", Rod asked irritated. "I don't know what this is or what this is about, Nicky. Just spit it out!"

Nicky sighed heavily. He felt a lump in his throat and goosebumps rise on his green skin. Nicky sucked up every courage and nerve he had, and he then told him. "The chemo isn't helping at all, Rod. I'm gonna have to have surgery done on Wednesday morning."

Rod was quiet. Shocked, heartbroken, slapped in the face, and quiet. _No...he's gonna die. He can't die now! I can't lose him!_

"I just wanna see you, Rod. I'm not gonna see ya on Thursday...because I'm gonna die on Wednesday.", Nicky said. His voice was becoming saddened, far beyond his usual cheery tone. This is real fear. His eyes were finally getting watery as he thought more about death.

Rod was getting upset, too. He found himself getting choked up and clenching his cell phone. "Nicky...I..." _I got to tell him...no I can't!_

"Come on, Rod. I just wanna see you, talk to you, spend time with you.", Nicky pleaded.

"Nicky..." Rod tried to talk, but he couldn't find the words and nerve to say anything. "Nicky..."

"You're all that I have to talk to comfortably. I'm fucking scared to call my own mom and tell her. You're my only friend." Nicky finally let the tears fall down his green face as he spoke. He felt that he needed Rod to live on, to live through this cancer so he doesn't feel alone.

"Nicky..."

"I need to see you, Rod.", Nicky murmered. "It's the end now. I can't spend my final days with my mom because she's miles away, so I wanna spend my last two days with you 'cause you're here."

"Nicky..."

"Nicky _what_?! What, Rod?!", Nicky outburst, getting tired off Rod saying his name and not going farther than that. "Just talk to me, Rod!"

Rod let a tear fall as he closed his eyes for a split second, breathing hard, and then reopening them. "I'd like to see you, too.", he said softly through his cracking voice. "I'd like to spend your final days with you. I really want to. But...I can't bare to be near you anymore."

"What? W-why not, Rod?", Nicky asked baffled, sounding like a little kid. "Why can't you be near me?"

Rod began to get more emotional. "Because...because I'm in love with you, Nicky.", Rod stammered, letting out sniffles. "I can't look at you or even think about you without feeling like I should be with you always, and I melt inside. I even stopped smoking and drinking for you because I wanna be with you forever, honest to God.

But, y-you're my client and I'm your personal doctor. I-it can't go that way, and I fucking hate that!"

Rod cried harder as he continued. "Besides, I'm scared that once we get serious you'll leave me, just like everyone else I fell in love with. So if you hate me, if you don't want to see me anymore, if you're disgusted by me now, then I understand. I'm sorry, Nicky."

Aside from the sound of breathing, there was silence on the other end of the line now. "Nicky?", Rod beckoned.

Still silence.

"Nicky..."

Then, the phone line went dead.

_Oh my god, no. I'm so sorry, Nicky!_

Rod dropped the phone and sobbed furiously to himself. He ruined his life, he thought, he ruined both of their lives.

_Please...don't leave me alone here, Nicolas. Don't leave me here alone..._


	5. Chapter Five

(Avenue Q-RodxNicky)

**Chapter Five**

"Oh my god, Nicolas.", Nicky's mother gasped. He had finally told her about the surgery, and of course she was shocked. "Oh Lord."

"I know."

Even though he was scared for himself about the whol scenario, he was more concerned about if he hurt Rod by just hanging up on him. He told Nicky that he's in love with him and Nicky didn't say a word back. He felt like an asshole to do that to Rod, but he didn't know what to say.

"Nicolas?", Ms. Lyon beckoned on the other end of the line, getting worried about the quietness.

"Uh, Mom? Can I tell you something else?", Nicky asked.

"Does it have to do with the cancer too?"

"No. Not exactly."

"Then what?"

Nicky groaned. "Well, remember I told you that I'm seeing a therapist?"

"Yes. What of it?"

Nicky massaged his temple with his free hand, thinking of ways to put in words what's going on. "Well, we've sorta become great pals, and that's a good thing really. But now..."

"What? What's works with being friends with your therapist? He can help you with your problems 24/7 this way can't he?", his mom asked.

"Yeah, but...he likes-no, he said that he's in love with me." Nicky stopped there, waiting for his mom's reaction, waiting for her to be disgusted.

There was a bit of silence until she finally spoke. "He's in love with you?"

"That's what I just said, Mom.", Nicky replied.

"And what did you say to him?"

Nicky then got choked up again, feeling quilt. "I didn't say anything to him. I just hung up on him, mom." The grief stricken green man lay down on his uncomfortable mattress, staring up at the cracked ceiling of his cruddy apartment.

"You hung up on-_Nicolas!_", his mother yelled. "How could you?!" She seemed infuriated.

"I didn't know what to say!", Nicky proclaimed. "I wasn't expecting it. I was totally unprepared." Nicky began to cry again as he reflected back on what he did. "I think I hurt him."

"Do you feel the same?"

The question caught Nicky off guard. "What?"

"He told you how much he loves you, right?"

"Yeah. He use to smoke and drink wine a lot, but he said he stopped because he wants to be with me.", Nicky told her. "I called so we can hang out, but he said being near me makes it worse for him to ignore what he feels."

"Oh, he sounds like he really does loves you.", Ms. Lyon said in a sweet voice. "But I said do you feel the same?"

Nicky bit his lip nervously. "I...I don't know!", he shrieked.

"Nicolas..."

"I said I don't know! I've dated women but they'd always breakup with me, remember? And he's a _guy_! I...I..."

"What does matter if he's a guy?", Mom said. "He's extremely in love with you, and if he's sacrificed smoking and drinking for you then he really cares about you. Love has no gender. Love is what you feel, honey. How do _you_ feel?"

Nicky was lost for words. His mother really knows what she's talking about, and she knows what's true.

"Think about how Rachael and all the other girls made you feel. And then, I want you to think of him. How does he make you feel compared to all of your previous relationships?"

Nicky thought and thought and thought. And then, he saw the light of it all just like that.

Nicky realized that he was never truly in love with all of his old girlfriends. Nicky would always say that he loved them, but it felt like it wasn't true, like it was false. Rachael, his last girlfriend, didn't seem all that interested in him at all once Nicky put thought to it. Then he realized that she really wasn't worth it, none of the other girls were. It was a no-brainer.

Then there's Rod. With Rod, it dawned on Nicky on why he really needed him, why he'd feel so enthusiastic to see Rod every Thursday, why he was so desperate to see him.

Rod makes Nicky feel something that women didn't do for him; he makes him feel so alive. He's on the edge of death and Rod makes Nicky so alive. Even though Rod's a shy guy, he's one hell of a great person.

Nicky remembered everything he's ever said to Rod, realizing that they were the key to the way that Nicky felt for him.

_"I like you enough to do almost any weird shit" _

_"I'm telling you that I'd feel grand if we hang out and have a great time" _

_"I just wanna see you, talk to you, spend time with you" _

_"You're all that I have to talk to comfortably" _

_"I need to see you, Rod" _

These sentences felt so real and true, and they sounded so heartfelt and desperate, so in love...

_Am I really...oh why didn't I see it soon enough?! _

"Mom?", Nicky said, hoping that his mother was still on the other end of the line.

"What is your answer?", Mom asked. She was waiting for him to decide the whole time.

"I...I do. I do love him, Mom." A smile began to form on the overjoyed cancer patient . "I love him! I love him!"

"Then go tell your guardian angel that you love him." You can hear the pleased grin in that sentence, showing that she was happy for her son. "I love you, dear. I wish you the best of luck for everything."

His mother didn't feel scared for Nicky anymore. She knew this call would mean so much to both of them. If Nicky were to die from surgery complications then she'd already be prepared, but for now she was joyed for if this was to be her last call with Nicolas.

Nicky ended the call with a "I love you, too, Mom." and hung up. He looked at the clock on the wall; 5:46 in the afternoon. _I'll tell him! I'll go and tell him! _

Just like that, Nicky sprung out of bed and made his way down stairs to the Ground Floor. He then hopped into his SUV and drove it to the street and onto the way to Rod's home.

The radio played a song that seemed to fit Nicky's spirit at the moment, and maybe one that can be his and Rod's song if everything goes fine.

_Where were you_

_When everything was falling apart?_

_All my days_

_Were spent by the telephone_

_That never rang_

_And all I needed was a call_

_That never came_

_To the corner of First and Amistad_

_Lost and insecure_

_You found me, you found me_

_Lyin' on the floor_

_Surrounded, surrounded_

_Why'd you have to wait?_

_Where were you? Where were you?_

_Just a little late_

_You found me, you found me_


	6. Chapter Six

(Avenue Q-RodxNicky)

**Chapter Six**

Rod didn't feel motivated to do anything anymore, not even finish reading the novel he started, mainly because it's a love story. He didn't even want to watch tv anymore because all there was being broadcast were crappy rom-coms, stupid tween sitcoms that dealed with the characters being "head over heels in love" with the school's hottest and most popular student, and news about celebrity weddings or break-ups.

"Love. What the fuck does anyone know about what love is?", Rod muttered in a bitter tone. "If you ask for my perspective, love sucks. Love hurts. Love is bullshit."

Now the depressed therapist trainee lay in his bed in the dark, completely covered in his sheets of soft cotton from head to toe, singing a tune to himself.

_Love hurts,  
Love scars,  
Love wounds and marks._

_Any heart, not tough, not strong enough to take a lot of pain, take a lot of pain_

_Love is like a cloud, holds a lot of rain.  
Love hurts, ooh ooh love hurts._

The time was 5:57 pm, close to the time Rod would smoke a cigarette. He wished he still had his box and lighter and grape wine with him. So what if it was bad for him, Rod didn't seem to care anymore.

He continued to sing.

_I really learned a lot, really learned a lot.  
Love is like a flame, burns you when it's hot.  
Love burns, ooh ooh love burns._

Time was going slow by just lying there in that bed, and Rod began to get bored and tired.

_Love is just a lie, meant to make you blue.  
Love hurts, ooh ooh love hurts._

Quickly, Rod felt his eyes get heavy and soon fell into slumber.

* * *

About half an hour later, Rod was suddenly awaken by thunderous banging noises. They seemed to be coming from the front door. "W-what?", he mumbled as he came to. "Who can that be?"

Then, as if the rude knocking didn't get him fully awake, the shouting from outside sure did the trick. "Rod?! Rod, it's Nicky! It's me!"

Rod widened his hazel eyes and formed an O shape with his mouth. "N-Nicky?!", he gasped. "O-oh my god!"

He grabbed his glasses from the night stand and quickly placed them on, then ran for the door, but paused right in his tracks just when he was about to turn the knob. _Wait. Why is he here, after he rudely hung up on me when I spilled my heart out to him?_

"W-what do you want, Nicky?", Rod stuttered loudly enough for the other to hear on the other side.

"I came to see you, Rod.", Nicky replied. "I...I..."

"Why do you want to waste your time and energy and _health_ to see me?", Rod stubbornly questioned. "You hung up on me, right after I told you that I'm in love with you."

"I know, and I'm sorry about that. I didn't mean to hurt you, Rod."

"Then why did you do it, you asshole?!", Rod hollered, tears easily coming and falling down. "Why?!"

"Because...because I didn't know what to say!", Nicky answered. "I didn't see it coming, honest!"

Rod crossed his arms and frowned. "Of course you didn't see it coming. You've only thought of me as a friend and nothing else. You've even dated women, have sex with them. I know you're obviously not gay." The Not Gay part made the upset individual cringe as he squeezed his arms and dug his nails through the thin sleeve of his white button-up shirt and onto his sky blue skin.

"Yeah, I've dated women, but they were never worth my time!", Nicky argued back. "I'd get over them in just days! But they've never made me feel so special and alive like with you, Rod!"

Rod raised a brow. _Special? Alive? Me? _"W-what are you saying, Nicky?"

"I'm saying that they don't give me what you give me, Rod." Nicky was breathing hard as he spoke, getting closer to his point. "I don't get as excited to see them compared to you. Seeing you makes my day so much better."

At that moment, both of their hearts were drumming in their chests. Rod began to blush pink as Nicky said what he said, and more. "When I'm talking with you I don't feel like I'm sick! I feel like I'm just a healthy dude talking to someone who's amazing!"

"Nicky..."

"Rod," Nicky began, catching his breath, "I love you!"

Rod felt his heart drop, being so speechless. His eyes widened to where they couldn't be expanded anymore. His jaw dropped for his mouth to form another O shape, chills running through his skin. Rod lowered his arms and let them be at his side. _Has he been shy all this time?_

"Rod! Answer me!", Nicky desperately cried. "I said I-"

"What makes you say that?", Rod asked, still not convinced, holding back tears that could be for joy if his gut was correct.

"Everything! Everything makes me say that, Rod!" Nicky rest his head on the cold white door and sighed, shutting his brown eyes. "Girls were never really all that interested in me. That's why they dumped me.

Whereas you, Rod, you look like you'd do anything for me. You've stopped smoking and drinking heavily just for me. No girl has ever done anything that heavy for me, and that's why you're amazing!

The last time you talked about your ex boyfriend, a bit of me wished that you were my boyfriend."

Rod couldn't help but get teary eyed already, and a smile began to go from ear to ear. "I was scared that I ruined your life, Nicolas. I felt like I really fucked up and ruined you. This job is really hard."

"Well then I guess we're both beginners at this.", Nicky said, grinning as he tittered.

Rod sighed, and he began to turn the knob, opening the door at last. When Nicky saw that Rod's eyes were glittery with tears, which made the other seem so innocent. He saw that Rod's red hair was very messy and uncombed and looked like a bird's nest. This made Nicky swoon. "You look great.", Nicky said.

"Don't fucking bullshit me. Nicolas.", Rod tittered.

"I'm not." Nicky stepped forward, letting his lips brush over Rod's, then pressed them together.

Rod sighed with bliss as he shut his eyes and deepened the kiss. He moved his finger tips to Nicky's face while Nicky put his hands to Rod's hips. Rod moaned softly and wrapped his arms around Nicky's neck, kissing him more and more viscously, then broke the kiss. He locked his eyes with Nicky's, giving him a no-nonsense stare.

"If you ever as such as cheat on me like the last bastard, I will fucking kill you.", he threatened.

"Just as long as you do the _fucking_ part first.", Nicky flirted, then they reunited their ravenous lips.

Nicky pushed Rod inside the house, not daring to part their lips, and locked the door. Their passion became more fierce as they made out, and Nicky pressed Rod against the wall. He quickly unbuttoned Rod's shirt, pulling it off then tossed it aside, placing his tongue on Rod's neck, licking the blue skin, sucking it.

Rod tipped his head back to the wall, extending his neck and moaned like the wounded, rearranging his arms around the others neck. "Mmm, Nicky."

The way he moaned his name turned Nicky on. He moved his tongue to Rod's ear lobe and began licking it, making Rod moan more. Nicky then bit his skin and Rod yelped and whimpered. "Oh, Nicky. Mmm, Nicolas."

Rod placed his hands on Nicky's cheeks, forcing Nicky to part from his neck, and crashed his lips to his, forcing his tongue in. His tongue fondled in Nicky's mouth like it owned it, and according to how much Nicky moaned, it did.

Nicky loved this fierce Rod, it's so sexy, so impassioned, so salacious! He wanted more from him, craved to see what else this guy who he thought of to be sheepish can do. "Mmm...mmm, Rod.", Nicky moaned. He could feel his member get erect and Nicky needed to be released.

"Is your bed comfortable?", Nicky pant through the prurient lip locking.

"More. Than. Comfortable.", Rod said, pulling his lips and tongue away just to pull Nicky's sweatshirt and t-shirt over his bald green head. Hands roamed around the two's blue and green bare chests as Rod lead Nicky the way to his bedroom, never stopping the seductive kisses on lips and skin.

Rod's room was dark, but what did it matter? The peaking moonlight was the only light they needed. "Leave the lights off.", Nicky huskily said as the two entered, tugging at each others pants. Nicky's jeans were the easiest to undo, therefore Rod unbuttoned them like it was nothing and pulled them off along with Nicky's boxers. The coo air on his penis made Nicky get chills all over himself, but it didn't bother him much. The passion the two men were engaging in made him blind to that.

Rod pressed Nicky down on the bed, pinning him down then positioned himself on top of him. Rod gave Nicky kisses up and down Nicky's chest then unbuckled his own slacks, hurrying up so he could free the erected phallus that was kept away in his clothes. Nicky groaned with anticipation, but he felt a bit of pain in his spine as there was pressure from Rod being on him. _No! You're not gonna ruin this moment for me you fucking illness._

Finally Rod pulled off his clothes until he was fully naked. Without wasting precious time, he pressed himself against Nicky, the hot skin rubbing against each other like twigs being rubbed together to make fire, and fire this insanely felt like as the two's members were smashed between their bodies.

Rod pant and groaned hoarsely, enjoying every shock that jolted through his body, and Nicky pant too as he could feel the shocks as well. He pressed his head on the pillow and moaned in ecstasy. "R-Rod! Oh G-God! Oh!" He clenched the sheets and grit his teeth, feeling the pain still be in his lower back, but tried to focus on the thrusting Rod was giving him, wanting more. "Harder, faster, Rod!", the groaned. "_Ow_."

"A-are you sure?", Rod asked, concerned as he observed Nicky's facial expressions. "You look like you're in pain. This isn't your first time is it?"

"No.", Nicky groaned. "It's...my back hurts a bit."

"You want to change positions? You wanna stop?"

"No! D-don't stop, Rod!", Nicky said. "I want you so bad, like you won't believe." Nicky raised his head to give his new love a kiss, then pulled away. "Please. Please, Rod."

"Nicky," Rod began, "I love you and I want you too, but I don't want to hurt you or make your back any worse-"

"Just shut up and fuck me hard, Rod! Ugh!", Nicky whined.

Rod was about to protest when Nicky kissed him passionately again, making the burning itch and desire return to Rod, and he continued the sex by increasing the pressure he was putting into his pelvic movements. Rod broke the scorching kiss to breathe heavily and he threw his head back, going faster and harder like Nicky wanted. "Oh, Nicky! Fuck, yes!"

"Rod! Rod, you're amazing! Yeah!", Nicky moaned.

Rod reached his hand down to Nicky's green male-cucumber and began jacking him off as Rod proceeded the incredible humping, making Nicky whimpered sweet noises that made Rod even more horny.

"Ugh, Rod! God, that feels so _good!_"

"_Nicolas! Nicky! _Oh sweet suffering Jesus!"

Both screamed each other's names as loudly as they felt they could as Rod drove himself closer and closer to his peak. He's wanted this ever since he realized he's in love with Nicolas. He pant hot breaths and shrilled as he was finally at his limit. "Nicolas! Yes!", he gasped as he sent his load into Nicky.

Soon after him, after giving one last scream of Rod's name like they were far from each other, Nicky lost himself and came all over Rod's fist and stomach. His muscles ached and he let go of his grip on Rod's sheets and relaxed, miraculously not feeling back pain anymore.

Rod pulled himself out and collapsed on the bed, laying beside Nicky. When his normal heart rate came to him, Rod lay on his back, breathing with Nicky. If there was a possible chance that Nicky were to die on Wednesday, which bothered Rod to think about such a thing after this heavenly moment, at least he got to make love with him.

But, he just had to ask. "Nicky? What do you suppose should happen to me if you die?"

Nicky thought and answered. "If I _do_ die, I want you to be ok, and not be all depressed. I still want you to mourn, but not get all upset. We already know that we love each other, so it shouldn't be a burden. I want you to move on and be free."

_I don't want to move on, _Rod thought_, I want to always think of you...as someone who was once mine_.

"A-and if you live?"

This was a question that Rod, no, both of them wanted to know.

"Well," Nicky began, "we'll see. We've got a 50/50 chance here." Nicky moved his hand to Rod's and held it, squeezing it.

Rod squeezed back. "Yeah, 50/50."

One thing was on both of their minds at the moment; let it be the second question.


	7. Chapter Seven: Final Chapter

(Avenue Q-RodxNicky)

**Chapter Seven**

Wednesday morning came too soon for Rod and Nicky, and now they were in the E.R. Nicky sat up in the hospital bed, in his hospital gown, as the anesthesiologist arrived to administer the anesthesia. Rod was right by Nicky's side, he called in sick. He didn't favor lying, but he's willing to make an exception just for Nicolas.

"Now just relax. I'm going to inject the anesthesia through your I.V. It's going to take a moment before it takes effect.", the anesthesiologist assured Nicky.

"Y-you're doing it now?", Nicky asked nervously, before the doctor put in the medicine. "Just hold on for a moment, will ya?"

The M.D, along with the nurse, gave the sick patient a look of confusion, but let Nicky have it. He turned to look up at Rod, their eyes meeting. As Rod's hazel eyes began to get filled with tears, Nicky took Rod's hand to his, squeezing it. Rod became too emotional and the warm tears began to make their way down his face.

"Come here.", Nicky whispered as he brought Rod's face closer to him. When their faces were just inches apart Nicky wiped Rod's tears away, then rest his grass green hand on his love's baby blue skin. "I love you.", Nicky murmured before his and Rod's lips kissed.

"I love you, too.", Rod replied in a shaken voice. Their lips pecked and pecked like chickens, exchanging I Love You's in-between each kiss.

Then Rod spoke. "Nicky."

"Yeah, Rod?"

"I...I've been thinking yesterday, and...if you turn out ok, c-can we get married, you and me?"

Nicky's brown eyes lit up and he smiled from ear to ear. "Of course, Rod. Lets do it."

Rod smiled too and the two kissed one last time until the anesthesiologist and nurse began to put in the anesthesia. Nicky could feel the medicine invading his breaking down body, but he continued this savored moment with his lips to Rod's.

"I'm really sorry, but we have to get Nicolas to the operating room.", the nurse said as she and the anesthesiologist began to move Nicky's bed, forcing the two mates to break the kiss.

They still had their hands together, but when Rod found that he couldn't move with the bed fast enough their hands parted unfortunately. "Nicolas!", Rod gasped as he watched Nicky, _his_ Nicky, be taken from him.

"I love you, Rod! I love you!", Nicky called out as he was taken out of plain sight from Rodney.

"I love you too!", Rod called back just as loudly for Nicky to hear him._ I love you too..._

* * *

The wait in the waiting room was all too much for Rod. Time went slower than slugs and molasses combined as Rod kept worrying about Nicky, and if there's ever going to be a wedding for them. The seconds felt like minutes, and the minutes felt like hours, and the hours felt like an infinity.

Rod could hear bloodcurdling crys from the hallway. Someone's father and husband passed on from a stroke that the doctors couldn't save him from. Rod's mind was racing.

He remembered that Nicky told him to move on if the surgery failed and he died, but Rod still told himself that he didn't want to. And then he went into inner thought mode.

_If he dies then I don't know what the point is to keep living if he won't be here with me. I love him more than I've ever loved any guy before. I want to live with him for the rest of my life. He said we can get married and that's how I want to live the rest of my days with him._

_He's everything to me. He's the air and water to me. If he dies how can I live without him? If he dies I'll stop eating and maybe commit suicide..._

Rod quit his thinking as the thought came to mind. He hasn't been suicidal since he was a teen, when he'd cut himself with his parents' letter opener, then put pressure on the wound to make the blood spill faster, until he knew he had to stop because God didn't want a fag in his heaven so he had Rod still take Life on in the boxing ring to this very day, round after round, and in every round Life would beat the shit out of Rod.

Sometimes, he thought Life was going to win the match, but until then it would be a tie.

When his parents found out that he was hurting himself, they had a cow. Rod was immediately taken to a psychologist and was forced to attend Support Group meetings. He's an only child like Nicky, his parents didn't want to risk sending him to a mental ward. However, if Rod continued, which thankfully he didn't, they'd have no choice.

Now that Rod reflected back on that time in his life, he began to realize that he didn't want to go back down that road.

_Maybe Nicky dying wouldn't be the end of the world for me. If he did die, then Heaven would receive another angel._

_Wait, why am I only thinking about if he dies? What would our lives be like if he lived and we're married?_

Rod began to sigh blissfully and he smiled, feeling his heart grow.

_Oh we'd be so happy! We'd live a happy life together until we're old and gray, which I hope means that I don't get all wrinkly and shriveled and..._bleh_. But we'd be together for many years to come! And we could probably adopt! Oh the options are endless, just please stay here on Earth with me Nicolas!_

Rod became tired and yawned, and soon he fell asleep, dreaming of his life with Nicky.

* * *

As the anesthesia was still taking its effect as they worked on him, Nicky was asleep, and dreaming.

_He was in an extremely long room of white, sitting in a chair, his hands on his knees, his head hung low. He sat there in silence, doing absolutely nothing but just sitting there._

_"I'm done for.", he told himself mentally. "I'm gone. I'm gone from him." He felt that he had disappointed Rod, and knew that he was dying. Over and over Nicky mentally apologized to Rod as if he was there with him._

_Then, a distinct voice beckoned to him. "Nicolas."_

_Nicky began to slowly raise his head, seeing a figure coming towards him. As the figure came closer and closer to him, Nicky could make out the face of someone familiar, someone he once loved, someone who was taken from him many years ago._

_"Dad?", Nicky finally said._

_Now in front of him, Nicky's father stood before him. He was right, he does look a lot like his dad: same eyes, same skin tone, same hair color, same smile. "My son.", his dad said._

_"Oh Dad!" Nicky reached out his arms to hug his old man, but he saw that there was something not quite right with this picture. Nicky's hands look like they were fading and they could be seen through, while his dad was solid._

_"It isn't your time yet, Nicolas.", Dad said. "It's not the end for you."_

_"W-what do you mean?", Nicky asked, baffled. "I have cancer. I'm dying."_

_Dad chuckled and shook his head. "No you're not, champ. You aren't. This is just a close experience."_

_"Close experience? I-I don't understand, Dad."_

_"Son, listen to me.", Dad began. "You still have your life to live, you still have your mother, you still have him."_

_"Him? You mean Rod?"_

_"Yes. He needs you, your mother needs you. Go back and live, for him, for her, for you, for me."_

_Nicky raised a brow. "Y-you're not disgusted that I'm with another man? You're not disappointed that I'm gay now?"_

_"Nicolas, you've made him so happy, and he the same for you. You still have a life with him, go live it. You and his story isn't down to it's last chapter yet, go finish it._

_I'm already at peace, and if your mother is proud of you, then so am I."_

_Nicky began to smile, small at first then grew to go from ear to ear._

_"If you love him, you love him enough to stay with him."_

_"I do.", Nicky said._

_"Then you'd better turn around, son, and get back to him."_

* * *

Rod was suddenly awaken by a slight nudge at the shoulder. He looked up to see the neurosurgeon stand before him. _Oh God_, Rod thought as he prepared himself for the news.

"Mr. Rod?", the woman asked.

"Y-yes.", Rod stuttered.

The neurosurgeon then smiled.

_Could it be? Could it mean that..._

"Nicolas is alright. The surgery was amazingly successful.", the woman said, grinning happily, but not as joyous as Rod.

"Really?!", Rod gasped.

"Yes. It's a miracle. Only a few lucky ones survive the surgery for this cancer. I guess Nicolas is one of them."

"B-but is there a chance the tumor will return?", Rod asked.

"We doubt it."

Rod began to squeal then wrapped his arms around her. "Thank you so, so much.", he whispered as he shed small tears of joy into the female doctor's shoulder.

"Would you like to see him?"

"Oh yes, most defiantly yes!"

* * *

They both walked through the halls until they made a stop in front of the recovery room that Nicky was in. Rod thanked her again then twisted the knob, opening the door. He was near bursting into tears as he saw his true love lay in the bed, his bewitching brown eyes open. Nicky turned his head to the side to see Rod standing at the doorway.

They both looked at each other, and smiled.

"Nicolas.", Rod breathlessly said.

"Hey, Rod.", Nicky said in a sleepish voice, the anesthesia was still taking effect on him.

Rod continued to smile as he walked over to Nicky's bed, standing beside him, taking his hand.

"I want to make you toast and chicken and waffles.", Nicky absentmindedly slurred, but as much as that sounded stupid to Rod, he giggled.

"And I'll make you pancakes with bacon.", Rod softly said back.

"Mmm...bacon.", Nicky moaned. "Great, now you're making me hungry."

"Well you're making _me_ hungry. You started it, idiot.", Rod said.

"Rod?"

"Yes, Nicky?"

"C-can we still get married, like you wanted?"

Rod let a single tear roll down his face and he nodded. "Of course. Lets do it." Rod leaned down and kissed Nicky's face then his lips.

"Lie next to me?", Nicky asked. He pat the empty space for Rod to lay in, offering the space.

Rod was going to refuse because he didn't want to mess up Nicky's fresh stitches, but figured "What the hell", and walked over to the other side. He got in the bed, carefully making sure he doesn't hurt Nicky, and put his arm around Nicky's waist, resting his chin on Nicky's chest, hearing his heart beating at a rhythm. The sound of his heart pumping made it sound like a lullaby to Rod, and Nicky's arms around him made it feel like a blanket to him.

"They said it's a miracle that you're ok. You're one of the lucky ones.", Rod said.

"Maybe, but it wasn't just me or the doctors. It was my dad."

Rod looked at him, baffled. "Your dad?"

"Yeah, Rod. While I was out cold, I had a dream and he was there, telling me to go back to you and live for you and my mom, but he made it clear that it should be for you."

Rod widened his eyes. "Y-you mean you had a near death experience and he told you to...to come back?"

"Yeah. He said our life story isn't done yet, and that we should finish it."

Rod didn't know if he should believe Nicky because he was skeptical about activity from beyond, but Nicky made it seem so real. When Rod came to, he smiled again. "Yeah, we have lots more chapters to do."

They both continued to lay there in that hospital bed, just smiling together, looking into their eyes, being happy that Life was finally on their side.

* * *

**Their actual story may not be over, but this one is :) **

**Big hugs to those of you who enjoyed this story.**


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